


Locked inside

by Willowshade



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Post-Chapter 699, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychology, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowshade/pseuds/Willowshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She didn't see it coming. Her green eyes widen, not because it was a unthinkable idea, rather the opposite. It was all she could do, all she always did, watch over him. It wasn't enough, it never was.</p>
<p>So when what they were insinuating dawned on her, Sakura snorted, amused despite of herself that they were discussing her infatuation with him in such terms. "What do you suggest, that we move in together?"</p>
<p>(or straight-forward version: Sasuke is under house-arrest. Sakura is the one to surveil him, meanwhile she busies herself with the research of prosthetic limbs and with the challenge to break down Sasuke's defenses.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

There's a lingering confusion on his brow when he blinks up at the ceiling, stark white.

 

The almost unbearable heaviness of his eyelids, the ache all over his body and the pounding in his head are the telltale signs that he awoke from a slumber that could very well have been death. Like many times before, reality seems to be in suspension, and thoughts are ceased.

 

Like after the massacre, Sasuke wakes in a hospital bed and feels like the world moved while he kept still. He feels something is fundamentally changed but his reason hasn't caught up to that yet.

 

Something rings like an alarm in his head, resonating inside the emptiness of his thoughts. Anxiousness escalate inside of him, his heart hammers in his chest as a reminder that, despite of how disconnected he feels, he is still alive. The vision of the white ceiling blurs when his eyes waters, suddenly. He can hear a ragged breath, something that sounds like a desperate animal drowning, and takes a full minute to realize it's his own. He feels cold, feels numb, like he is drowning in freezing water. He shooks despite the fact that there's sweat dripping in his forehead, that heavy blankets are pulled until up his chest. He feels sick, his vision darkens, tunneling.

 

There's the alarm again, louder.

 

Suddenly a loud, scrapping noise. "Sas-" he could recognize that voice anywhere. Naruto, he wants to say, but his throat is dry and his lips doesn't move more than a pathetic tremble.

 

"What's wrong with him?" Naruto asks, his voice sounding agitated.

 

Hushed steps. "His blood pressure has dropped" says a second voice, calmer, that he recognizes as Sakura's. Then there's a warm hand emanating green light and he sees no more.

 

\---

 

 

He awakes to the uncomfortable sensation of his left eyelid being peeled open with fingeres, and a lantern light shinking his pupil with its blinding luminosity.

 

He snaps his eye shut and jolts violently in place, uncounciously reacting as if in danger.

 

"At ease." There's a hand on his forehead, and warm, calming chackra touching his own through the contact. He relaxes into the bed.

 

"Sasuke-kun, can you hear me?"

 

Green eyes. As his vision adjusts, he sees Sakura face is looming on his view, her lips pressed firmly in a tight line of tension.

 

He nods, clutching desperate to the thread of his slow thoughts. Then, just like that, his breath caught in his throat, and he remembers everything that what has happened. Underneath the distracting ache on his body, there's a evident lack, a wrongness, a left arm that isn't there anymore. The realization comes like a weight setting on his mind, and looking at her he remembers guilt.

 

"I'm sorry. " He says, voice rough.

 

Her expression softens but only slightly. She leans back in her seat, out of his view when she replies."This isnt the time for that." She says slowly, but not unkind.

 

" I..-"

 

"This isn't the time for that." she repeats, voice level. "There's time to apologize for whoever you like. Apologies in a half death state are one time thing only."

 

Sasuke blinks, understanding settling over him as some of his desperation fades: He will live to regret his actions.

 

It's simple as that. He will have to take responsibility and deal with the repercussions of his words and acts. At the moment, lying in his and Naruto blood, in the same place that he tried to sever his bonds to Konoha, this prospect wasn't as clear. All he wanted at the time, feeling death loom close to him, was to act on feelings he long tried to crush over the trashed bond between him and his team. But fixing things took other type of effort. It took time.

 

"I understand." he manages to say, somber, feeling the undeniable truth of owning them his life. "What happened? " he asks, feeling better than the last time he awoke, but a remaining pain still was there.

 

"You passed out. " she says, while she writes on something. Sasuke wants to look at her again, so he tries to get up, lifting his torso. He stumbles to his left, eyes falling on the banged half of what it was limb. He doesn't feel much, other than strange amazement at the wrongness of the sight. With such injury he is almost useless as a ninja. He knows that Naruto is going through the same thing, but differently from him, Naruto had a future ahead of him, a dream that didn't end in destruction. 

 

_I'm going to be Hokage one day, believe it!_  He could recall the way Naruto said it with such clarity, it leaves him feeling dizzy. 

 

Sakura catches him, a light hand on his waist before he tumbles more, another one rests on his right shoulder. Her head looms close to his while she settles the pillow behind his back and pushes the coverings to his lap. Her hair brushes against his cheek for a second, he finds a strange knot forming in on his throat.

 

"And before that? " he asks, looking at her again as she sits in a chair beside his bed.

 

There's an air of exhaustion about her, the way her eyes are sullen looking and darkened by the lack of sleep." Before that, you dispelled the infinite Tsukuyomi and right after that you passed out. You've been asleep for five days, with just a few moments of consciousness in between."

 

That's why he felt so weak. Sasuke finds it hard to look at her, at the same time he doesn't want to look away.

 

"What about Naruto? Where is he?" He finds the courage to ask.

 

"He left the village two days ago as our representative in the Second Kage Summit. He slept for 12 hours straight, but since then he has been helping Kakashi and Tsanade-same to deal with the diplomatic aftermath of the war."

 

The word aftermath settles a heavy weight on his stomach. "And what happens to me now? "

 

She looks calm, and there's a peculiar light to her eyes." They are willing to consider that you cooperated with us to avoid the destruction of the world, and that on a good day, you are one of the most powerful ninjas to ever live." It goes unsaid that eliminating him is a problem in itself. " And you have the Naruto, now being claimed a hero across all nations, on your side... Likewise, there's Kakashi as well, who is in the line of being next hokage. Tsunade sama is also willing to give you another chance..."

 

"And lastly you have me-" Sasuke eyes widen as that, and she smiles slightly "I may not have that much of diplomatic weight, but, as a Medical Ninja, I will not allow my hard work on healing you nor my break through research on how to fabricate limbs with hashirama''s cells to go to waste."

 

Sasuke gaps, her words sinking in slowly. Sakura smiles a bit wider now. "Things will work out, somehow. We will make it happen."

 

\---


	2. Chapter 2

"We can't keep him in the hospital." Tsunade same is the first one to speak up the obvious. She is resting on her futon, her appearance youthful again after a few days of rest.

 

Her expression isn't particularly stern, but Sakura still feels a degree of reluctance on her saying in the matter, she shares a look with Kakashi, standing besides the window of the room.

 

"We know that." Sakura says, standing rigidly by the door, arms crossed against her chest. "But we can't effort to keep him on heavy surveillance either, we don't have the required accommodations for that."

 

Tsunade scowls. "There's plenty of empty cells in the prison..."

 

"We have no personnel in there to keep him locked up." Kakashi brings another point. "Actually, it happened a mass scaping of intends when we took most of our ninjas to war, including the guards."

 

Tsunade scowls harder for a moment, until the expression dispel in a heavy sight. "Everything is a mess." She says, an understatement in itself, a light way to put the things, Sakura thinks.

 

She knows that the situation is dire. The war killed and wounded many. Destroyed crops and merchandise, ruined land-fields and cities. It might take years to the situation come to what it was before the beginning of the conflict. The increase in poverty and the weakened state of the nations would make crime and violence rise, and more conflicts were likely to happen. That is, if the nations did not join efforts and resources.

 

"Naruto is coming to a understanding with the Raikage about Sasuke-kun..." Sakura adds.

 

"I know, I know." Tsunade says, with a sigh. "For now the situation is as it is: Sasuke is a loose end in the aftermath of the war, in one way of another. His amnesty depends on conjectural matters, and right now, the understanding between leaders prevails. But we can't control him, nor we can't tell if he is stable enough. If he slips up even a tiny bit out of line, it could be disastrous. And nothing guarantees that in the future the Kages won't feel less grateful by the help he extended during the war, and more tempted to make him pay for his crimes..."

 

Her expression set into stone, Sakura nods and see in the corner of her eye Kakashi doing the same. She wonders then, even after the worst, if he also feels each mention of how far Sasuke has fallen as personally, the words as if iron burning a gaping wound. She wonders if the feeling will ever go away.

 

They spent long minutes in silence, as Tsunade seems to be deeply in thought. She rises her eyes to meet Kakashi, directly. "I don't know this kid as much as you do, nor I am hokage anymore, so I'm actually surprised you two came to ask me in advice on how to deal with him."

 

Kakashi moved his shoulders as if saying "Well, he is problematic, any helps matters" and it would have made Sakura smile, if the mood wasn't as heavy.

 

Tsunade looked at her then. "My opinion is that he can't be kept alone. Sakura, you should be the one to keep tabs on him."

 

She didn't see it coming. Her green eyes widen, not because it was a unthinkable idea, rather the opposite. It was all she could do, all she always did, watch over him. It wasn't enough, never was.

 

But Tsunade, perhaps fooled by her blank expression, didn't see Sakura's skepticism. "Once we settle our threats and business deals with the other nations, I will be able to officially retire politics. Then I will retake the head of the hospital together with Shizune." She says, surprising Sakura again, and for her sake she adds. "You will be the second in command in the health system of Konoha, Sakura, you will take full control of it eventually."

 

A part of her wasn't surprised by this. Tsunade had just awoke from a coma, but knowing her sensei, she wouldn't stay put for long. Still, there was relief that the rumors the nurses and doctors kept whispering in her back didn't come truth. She wasn't going to be the head of the hospital, not yet. She didn't know what to make of it, whether it was acceptable to feel like that.

 

"You are too young for this position, the hospital is still too much for you to handle-" Sakura nods, trying to convey an acceptance she doesn't quite feel. "I understand." But relief aside, there's a small feeling of failure that unnerves her. "-And you are still the best medic we have to send in camp." Tsunade knew her well, so she doesn't spare the compliment. "Plus, being less busy in the hospital and under my tutoring you will have more time to finish your research on the prosthetic arms for Naruto and the Uchiha, and potentially, for many disabled ninjas in the war."

 

Sakura just listened, overwhelmed.

 

"And there's your personal emotional investment with the Uchiha..." That made her thoughts kick in again. What that had to do with anything? Sakura thought.

 

Tsunade trailed of, as if unsure how to continue, looking at Kakashi. As if synchronized, he took the word. "It could be valuable in this type of "mission", as in exposing him to a receptive environment could help to stabilize him."

 

When what they were insinuation downed on her, Sakura snorted, amused despite of herself that they were discussing her infatuation with him in such terms. "What do you suggest, that we move in together?", she jokes.

 

The lack of response from both of them was an answer in itself.

 

"Really?" She gaps, the disbelief written on her face quickly vanishing as she faces the serious expressions of her superiors. "Wait." She says, trying to understand what she missed. Then she gets it, she understands what Tsunade really meant when she said that she should kept tabs on him. She looks for Kakashi for confirmation. "House arrest." She says, stern, not quite an question.

 

"Yes" Kakashi says, though, answers it all the same. He looks at Tsunade again, and again she takes the word. "You are the only one capable and of trustful enough to supervise it." She says, nodding. "And you need to stay at home for your research anyways." Kakashi adds.

 

Their synchronization is so good, that deep in her mind Sakura suspects that they've already had reached an agreement about Sasuke's situation before this reunion. In this case, this would be nothing more than a show to present her the not-so-thrilling idea of living with Sasuke. The notion sparks anger in her, despite the pointlessness of it all. Sakura is a being of reason, and she can't argue against it.

 

"Sakura." Kakashi starts, sensing the shift in her expression. "This only an idea, we aren't going to force you to agree to it, you have all the right to deny." 

 

Does she? Does anyone else is there for Sasuke in the way she is? 

 

She hesitates only for a couple seconds, but the damage is already done.

 

It is enough for her to notice the careful glances of Kakashi and Tsunade, what they aren't saying in their words. They worry about her feelings, she realize, not without a bitter taste in her mouth. Nothing they know about her if they think she is breakable like that. Besides, hadn't the worst come to an end already? Some awkwardness and heavy silences would not intimidate her. Naruto couldn't be the only one capable of handing Sasuke. She is a member of Team 7 too.

 

"I'll do it." She nods once, resolutely. She feels then the heavy responsibility that they are putting on her shoulders, she understand that it's because they trust her. She lets go of the bitterness and replaces it with determination. She is the only one in the position to keep an eye on Sasuke. He has nowhere to stay. And she has to research a way to produce two arms for her teammates as soon as possible. In the end everything is pointing to that direction.

 

"You can count on me."

\---


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Sakura came to visit him two days later, late in the night, when the lights were already off and he was dozing in and out of sleep. The sight of her trigger some sort of response that makes him get up from his bed all too quickly, his senses going into alert.

 

"I'm sorry I came so late..." She offers, while closes the door behind her, leaving the brightly lit corridor to enter the darkness of the room. Her pink hair, even if waned in the dark, is the only colorful contribution to resist the monochromatic white that surrounded Sasuke for days.

 

He waits, a second, two, and the darkness stays, disrupted only by a small opening on the window behind his bed. It stays in between them as a heavy wall, isolating them even further.

 

Seconds passes away, and she stays by the door, no movement of reaching for the light switch. Sasuke heartbeat rushes. This was no normal visit. Something had happened, he realizes, a feeling of anticipation overcoming him.

 

"What's wrong?" He asks, voice nothing more than a whisper. For some reason he remembers the full moon night he met with her by the gates, backpack in his back and a decision already made.

 

A beat. "I have good news: you're being discharged today." She announces, voice unnaturally even.

 

He doesn't even have the time to process her words before she adds. "You're being relocated to stay in my house, in a system of house arrest, by Tsunade's suggestion and Kakashi's decision." She says as if she is giving him a death sentence, an underlying apology in her words that did not sit well with him at all.

 

Sasuke nods slowly, his surprise keeping at bay a growing unpleasant sensation, something that felt like snakes coiling in his stomach.

 

"I've already prepared a room for you." She says, just to click her mouth shut afterwards, as if she regrets it. "A special seal was trusted to me, that I can activate on you if I judge the situation calls for it." In case I might hurt you, he feels like correcting the euphemism, out of bitterness, but he doesn't.

 

"You can't leave the house under any condition. If you do, the seal will be triggered. Please that into consideration that the seal wasn't ideally designed to restrain, but to incapacitate. We couldn't approve the use of a weaker seal in the last Council Reunion, because the overall opinion is that you are too dangerous for us to take a chance."

 

"Do you understand?" She asks, all professionalism. He nods, feeling his throat constricted. Some of her stern posture relaxes, making him wonders if she thought he would protest, makes him wonders how much this house arrest was asking of her.

 

He knows why the lights are off, then. He doesn't want to see what might be in her eyes either.

\--


	4. Chapter 4

The walk to her house was silent and tense.

 

It might have been worse hadn't she been anesthetized by exhaustion. They pass a particularly street, with small bookstore they once did a mission on, a simple task of arranging books, and in a moment of weakness she wishes Naruto was there. She bites down her lip, feeling the abyss between her memories of back then and the present stretch into infinite. Sasuke walks besides her, just slightly behind, as if a ghost of that same past, a painful reminder of what was already gone.

 

She couldn't very well read his reaction to the news, she isn't sure she wanted to - as always afraid of his rejection. Vocally he said "alright" and even "I appreciate that you agreed with this"_ following a new behavior that had him either apologizing and thanking her, sometimes both. And if he disliked the arrangement he didn't show. He just seemed relieved to be able to leave the hospital, albeit barely.

 

There's something almost as if a area of pure misery emanating from him. She feels it like a heavy atmosphere, something darker than the night itself. A metaphorically black hole, never ending of pain and grief and suffering. What is he thinking about? She wonders. Does he thinks about the past, the short time in which he had a family, or when they were a team? Does he think about how he wanted to burn this place to the ground and kill every person in it? Or is he being crushed by regret?

 

Ever since he last saw Naruto, his disposition was somber as death. Gone was the small smile that she saw when the two of them were laid in a pool of their own blood. He barely talked since that day, the day she liked to think as the reconciliation of their team. But the contrite tension between the two of them as they walked told her that, probably, the reconciliation was just between him and Naruto.

 

She looked at him, searching for an answer to all the open questions he represented. He had a particular far off, glassy look in his eyes she didn't like at all.

 

What now? What happens now? In their little plan to get him back they never once did stop to consider this part. It hurt too much to entertain thoughts on that, when it was still nothing more than a vague dream. But bringing him back, physically, was just half of the work. The other half, she realizes, from what Kakashi and Tsunade said, from Naruto's absence from the village, is hers to figure out.

 

She doesn't know what to do. Crying her feelings to him never did work. It wasn't as simple as that. So when they talked about her personal emotional investment on Sasuke, she couldn't help but feel skeptical.

 

They pass through a particularly dark street, just in the corner of her building, and Sasuke stops. The shadow almost completely hides him from her view. She turns to face him, awaiting, tense. The night feels completely still, silent, and it makes her feel as if there's only the two of them, alone despite being side by side, in a world of darkness.

 

Sasuke tenses more on the spot, but then he is walking again and she feels relief. If the pause was completely accidental, or if he meant to say something she never knows.

 

When they reach her house, minutes later, it feels like mercy.


	5. Chapter 5

He is in the forest of death, suddenly twelve years old again.

 

He knows it's more than a dream the instant he recognizes that moment. It's a memory, from long time ago playing up in a random request of his subconscious mind. Aware that he can move his body, that he is not a mere witness of this recollection, he turns his head to the side and sees a image of Sakura that he almost forgot. She looks impossibly younger, her hair is longer and softer than he remembers, as she used to care more about her appearance than her ninja skills. Ah, how she would change. 

 

Something is wrong with her, though. His eyes soon catch her pure expression of terror, wide eyes, mouth open in a silent scream. What's wrong, he meant to ask, but he cannot speak, nor she seems to hear him. She is not even seeing him. Rather, her eyes are dead set on something in front of them.

 

Ah, I remember this, he thinks to himself, as he looks ahead and sees Orochimaru in his disturbing glory. This is the first time he saw the man, and he is terrified. He knows he can't possibly defeat him. He is unable to move, just as in the past, as a wave of killing intent coming from those snake's eyes grips him. He is paralyzed by fear as a strong force overwhelms his senses, every inch of perception telling him that is going to die.

 

Green reptilian eyes and the darkest chakra. A long slick tongue licking blood dripping in a gaping wound. The scent of decaying flesh, its his own corpse to rotten. Unfathomable darkness and cold and nothingness, it's absence of life and meaning. Shattered impressions of terror makes his vision tunnel. He will not only die, he is going to be predated and brutally eaten alive, his remains reduced to pieces.

 

You are too paralyzed to move." He hears the snake says.

 

The world spins, he sees the canopy of the trees and hears him gasp. He is in the ground, before he can process it, stiff as if already dead. The psychological blow hits him like the force of a punch. He is so pathetically weak, he thinks enraged. 

 

Why is he so weak? 

 

Suddenly, he hears movement in his side. Sakura! Is she ok? He thinks, how could he possibly forget her presence? Was she attacked too? He wants to tell her to run but he can't speak. It's hard to even move a muscle. Even so he sweats with effort to look, the effort to raise his head from his chest, as the tiniest flicks of his eyes seemingly demands too much of his energy. Finally, he manages to see Sakura standing in front of him, not twelve years old anymore.

 

"You've always been a coward, haven't you?" She says, as she prepares herself to defend him.

 

Sasuke wakes up with an uncharacteristic absence of movement. Reality was too close by for it to be natural. Knowingly, he focus first in his eyes, deactivating the previously spinning sharingan. Just then he allows himself to breath. The air come out of his mouth in a harsh sound.

 

What was that? The dream was too vivid, too real. Was it a self-projected genjutsu? Such things were not unheard of, specially in inexperienced users of the dojutsu. The fact that he is now also a rinnegan wielder must have disrupted some of his control. 

 

Before he can relax his tense muscles, his eyes catch the rays of sunlight, alarming him. He gets up with a jolt, only to realize that he doesn't recognize where he is. 

 

A second of panic later, he remembers last night. Right, he is at Sakura's. He remembers with an odd detachment how she gave him the news that he was to stay in house arrest under her surveillance for an unknown period of time. It was as if it happened long ago. Something in the depths of his mind tells him that he is avoiding thinking of it because he dislikes the implications. If he could choose, Sasuke wouldn't want this, wouldn't want Sakura to go through this either. Even in the sorry state he finds himself in after his fight with Naruto, mind hazy with broken thoughts, something feels clear for now: he doesn't want to feel, he doesn't want to feel anything other than numbness and that is probably impossible if Sakura is going to be around. 

 

He doesn't know how to handle it. He closes his eyes, focusing, abandoning that line of thought, as it would most likely unlock emotions he was trying to avoid. He would stubbornly ignore whatever reactive part of his conscience might be trying to surface. 

 

Instead, he chooses to focus outward. He looks around himself, observing the details he missed when he arrived. It's tiny room, probably used to gather all sort of belongings that didn't fit elsewhere in the house. Most of the space besides his bed was filled with books laying in the floor in piles. The rest was occupied by a wardrobe and a desk. On top of it lay sheets, something that looked like paperwork, and on top of it all, lay one vase of bonsai. The sun trespassing the cream-colored curtains touched to the lush green of its leaves, and also the wooden floor, lighting the hospital clothes he discharged yesterday. He was almost relieved to wear the standard undershirt of the jounin vest and its matching pants, if it wasn't for the Konoha symbol attached to his sleeves. He saw it reflected in the mirror on the wall, and went very still. The symbol haunted him.

 

With a bittersweet feeling in his chest, he walks to the window. He examines the bonsai but don't recognize the species. His head is set then, in the light coming from the window, just like the plant has gradually twisted its branches towards it. With his one hand he slowly pushes the curtains aside. 

 

It reveals an alley in between two buildings, three floors bellow. He sees a kid walking, skipping around the uneven ground, followed closely by his mother. Some meters ahead, judging by the voices, there's a market bursting with activity. 

 

He draws two conclusions then. It might be past 10 in the morning and this is not Sakura's house. Not the one she used to live in, anyways. He doesn't recognize the neighborhood either. He wonders where her parents went. 

 

Now, Sasuke thinks, he has to try something out. Tentatively, he places his palm against the glass. 

 

He feels then a strange pressure in his chest. Promptly, he steps back and he takes off his shirt, half expecting to see a black seal on his skin. All his sees, though, is his scarred torso. With Sharingan activated, he can finally see the source of the strange pressure. There's a black thread surrounding all his body, to the sole of his feet all the way to his neck, where the black line concentrates similar to a choker. The pattern is organic, it reminds him of the twisting of a snake, before suffocating a prey.

 

The thought reminds him of the dream. It didn't follow his memories. He knew that he had frozen before Orochimaru, but he was able to move in the last moment after slashing his tight with a kunai. And he also saved Sakura. He remembers how desperate he felt. He felt he was responsible for protecting her and he knew he couldn't do it because his opponent was stronger. She would be killed in the front of his eyes. After revisiting the memory, he could tell it was because he needed to protect her that he was able to fight the paralysis. 

 

But in the dream she was the one to take action. Their roles have been reversed. Perhaps his subconscious was reflecting the shift in the power in between them, or was it...

 

His thoughts are interrupted by white pain. His body is paralyzed suddenly. The strange pressure return, this time with more strength, something invisible is crushing him from the inside out. Before he knows, he is in his knees, grasping his chest uselessly. That might be what an heart attack felt like. He feels Sakura's presence before he can see her, as the pressure increases with her chakra proximity.

 

She kicks the door open. 

 

"Sasuke-kun?" She asks out of breath, panic in her voice, and eyes set on his instantly.

 

The perspective from bellow in which he sees her is a deja vu of the way she shielded him in the dream. "What happened?" She kneels, and the impression is gone. She places a hand on his head and he feels the pressure being lifted.

 

He releases a breath he didn't know he was holding, his body slumps boneless against the frame of the bed. Eyes wide with alarm, Sakura catches his arm before he slips to the floor. "What have.." ... you done? Sasuke tries to say, still feeling weak, tries to break away from her hold. 

 

"I felt the seal." She explains as she releases him, calmer, colder. "Did you try to escape?"

 

"I just touched the window." He rasps, suddenly enraged. His sharingan bleeds into his eyes instantly. At the sight of it, Sakura backs off as if he had hit her.

 

"..."

She is silently for long moments. "I believe in you."

 

Do you really? He wants to say, he could see the way she shifted into a defensive stance. 

 

"I am sorry it came to this." She says, voice wavering, hands pressed to her chest as if it was her own being ripped apart and not his. "I wasn't expecting the reaction that came to me. I-I didn't know my chakra would instantly respond to it." She paused to sight. "I'll control it better next time." 

 

Sasuke straights himself with the most of dignity he can master, glad that she didn't try to assist him. She was not exaggerating when she said the seal was meant to incapacitate, in fact she was putting it lightly. From how it felt, it would probably kill him if he left the perimeter of the house.

 

And Sakura would be next.

 

He looks at her, really looks at her, allowing his eye to turn dull black. Her hair pushed back in a ponytail, she wears black pajama shirts with matching pants. She sat awkwardly, half kneeling half getting up, expression anxious and serious. It overlaps almost perfectly with one in his memories, it was in the way she would watch him when Orochimaru's seal gave him a taste of insanity. He can almost pretend she is the same as she was twelve years old. 

 

But that is an illusion. He watches her watching him and can't possibly know what is reflected in her eyes. He gazes at her. "If I try to escape, we are both death aren't we?"

 

A beat. "Maybe." She looks away, confirming his suspicious. 

 

That's it for him. 

 

Something like laughter is threatening to break from his throat. Or perhaps it's a scream of frustration. He blinks red again, to observe again the complex seal in a circle shape in her stomach. He is oddly perturbed by how it was connected to his own seal as if they were tied in the same complex spider's web. This string would drain her energy to attack him whenever he left a certain perimeter of the house. The brutality of the seal might kill her from chacka depletion, after killing him - her chacka would destroy him from the inside out, like poisoning. 

 

He wants her to leave, so he turns his face away, closes his eyes. Why every time he is reminded that they were willing to risk themselves for him he felt such pain? He couldn't even allow himself to look at her without feeling the guilty wrap him in its paralyzing hold.

 

I knew that in the end I could never do anything for you. She said it so, but why she kept trying so hard? Would she ever give up on him? No. The right question was: Did he even want her to?

 

"What does it looks like?" She asks softly, gazing down, as she couldn't see the seal herself. 

 

His fists his hand. "It looks like a string..." He search for words, until something dark quirks his lips up. "It's like we are connected with by the string of... fate itself."

 

He can almost hears her go still at this. 

 

Her neck muscles are taut, any more tension and her jaw might hinge. The sarcasm in his voice makes him regret it the instant he hears it. If he could take it back... He had used the anger to distract him of other feelings, but the fact that he lashed out on her only makes the guilty grows. He chances a look at her. Sakura is looking away from him. Instead she is violently gazing at the bonsai, her eyes are so heated he wouldn't be surprised if its leaves burned. 

 

He feels his heartbeat rushes at the sight of her. He is well aware that he wants to punch his skull open.

 

But she doesn't do it. He is almost disappointed. Silence stretch and with it, the adrenaline Sasuke felt goes down. He feels his body give up the fight. He is just too tired, suddenly. He wants her to disappear, he wants disappear himself but he can't and she can't, they are stuck together inside this tiny apartment.

 

He breathes harshly. "Just... leave, I need to be alone."

The almost pleading tone should have unnerved him, as it would in the past every time he felt weak. But much of his pride was broken to shards anyways, and Sakura already had history of seeing him at his worst moments, so he might as well add this to her list. 

 

He heard her stand and leave without another word.


	6. Chapter 6

Sakura absorbed herself in her studies all afternoon.

 

Since she lent Sasuke her office, she was studying in the kitchen table. One advantage of doing so was that it had more width that she could use to spew her mess. Three large volumes were open over the table, which she was looking for reference while she took notes in a scroll. She sat with one leg folded beneath her, the other swings back in forth in the seat, a telltale sign of her agitation. Sakura's forehead was furrowed in a intense expression, her green eyes looked a shade darker as the light from the window diminish with the sunset. 

 

Tsunade had already gave her more than half of the research done, but even so she was struggling. Her mentor had studied her blood lineage throughout, and more again when she learned about the first Orochimaru's experimentation with the Senju stem-cells. She also had various exams and samples from Tenzou, no doubt interested in the successful cloning Orochimaru had achieved. And the most recent notes, a mess of thoughts and references, were wrote down just after Tsunade learned of Danzou artificial arm.

 

There were three lines, right at the bottom of the papers she gave Sakura, that stated how surprised she was that the implant could support so many sharingans, each with slightly different DNA and even some leftover chakra from their rightful Uchiha owners. These last lines were the most crucial. Naruto's transplant had a higher rate of success since he descended from the senju and due to the massive Kurama's chakra and its regenerative capabilities. Sasuke wasn't as lucky. But, if something good could ever come from what Danzou did, was the fact the existence of that arm presented Sasuke and other disabled ninjas with a better perspective. There might be a way to minimize the rejection of the transplant, one that involving developing a right immune-suppression medication. 

 

Sakura had lot of content to look into and, the more she studied, the greater the need she felt to confirm hypothesis, to clear dozens of doubts with her Mentor. 

 

Tsunade would do the practical procedure of growing the arm. Sakura was doing the bureaucratic part of the work as it might be possible to fabricate arms like that in large scale. If so would become reality, Konoha needed a proper body of research to present to respected scientists around the nations. For now it was a distant possibility, since the council saw this as a dangerous move as it would trust other villages with a knowledge that could be used to make weapons. But if one day approved, it could be the one of firsts step towards a police of worldwide cooperation in medicine with other ninja's villages, which meant it also carried a diplomatic weight. 

 

Being part of it was an honor. But sometimes, it felt too much weight for her to carry.

 

Sakura felt her attention slip irrevocably. She was reading the same sentence for a couple of minutes now, unable to process it. Not only it was a complex text about DNA replication and transplantation, she also didn't remember a handful of names she read. She would need to get another book to understand the concepts she was facing. Said book, unfortunately, was sitting in the middle of Sasuke's makeshift chambers.

 

Damn. The damage was already done. Just when she was doing such a good job of avoiding thinking about him. Now Sakura was remembering how provocative he had been, his sardonic expression. What a bastard. She scowled, gripping her pencil, annoyed that the mere thought of him could make her come undone.

 

She didn't know he still had it in him to be sarcastic and was totally caught off guard with his comment. She fists her hands to think he wasn't only aware of romantic implications in their predicament, but he still could make a joke of them, meanwhile granting her a rare show of his teeth at it, though there wasn't anything pleasant about his smile. He had been dismissive, rude, but before Sasuke never made fun of her, or of their situation and she didn't know if she could handle this new pattern.

 

It was only the second day, and they were already reaching their limits.

 

Sakura was feeling her mouth dry. She licked her cracked lips. She was thirsty and hungry and probably Sasuke also. She threw a evaluative look to the corridor. It led to two doors, one was her bedroom and the other one was the room he spent all the day into.

 

He is probably enjoying being alone. She thought, with a surge of bitterness. It had hurt the way he told her to fuck off, not only as much as it sett her off. She was so pissed off that it took all her effort not to start an argument with him then. Despite of it, she was also put off by how much emotion she could read in him then. And she didn't like what she saw. Sasuke looked like an animal backed into a corner, wounded and unpredictable. When he learned of the seal he retreated into himself, his posture already telling her to vanish. It was the same as if he had told her to leave in that moment. She could sense it that he wanted to be left alone, but decided to linger anyways.

 

It's not like she expected a thanks, or awed reverence, but she disliked how something she did for him seemed to have troubled him so much. Would every act of kindness, of companionship be seen through the lens of guilty? Doing so would make every attempt of closeness to backfire. 

 

With a sight she got up. She had expected him to appear by the kitchen all day so she could give him some food, but he apparently was too proud to do that. She had to be the bigger person. So she was going to fix them lunch, if it could still be called that so late in the afternoon. Sasuke was her patient, and he wouldn't make her become a bad doctor, despite how much of a hassle he could be. 

 

Sakura never cooked, but she liked to think she was a natural. She wasn't always this delusional - but when she was, Naruto would be the only one to suffer. But, in that moment, she managed to be honest with herself and settled for giving him hospital bentos. She stashed it in her refrigerator when she knew he would be staying with her. It was what she usually eat anyways, and he was still in recovery and that food had all nutrients necessary for a health body. Besides, this isn't any goddamn restaurant. 

 

There. She had warmed the fish and the rice in the oven, and placed it in her best bowl. In a surge of inspiration, she peeled apples and sliced them neatly, for dessert. Everything was placed in a shiny trail, plus a water bottle. It looked good enough for it to taste better than usual. The presentation was everything, right?

 

She walked to his room with resolute steps, just to step midway. Something like regret appeared in her chest.

 

Shouldn't them be eating together at least? 

 

No. She swallowed whatever feeling came over her and knocked three times in his door. She strained her hearing and could listen clothes ruffing but nothing else. 

 

"I'll be damned if I let you starve." She announced, then bossily, she adds. "Come open it for me." 

 

She fidgeted all the way until his head popped up behind the door. The inside of the room was dark, but she could see his face perfectly. His pale skin almost glowered in the shadows, mismatched eyes watched her impassive. She didn't know if she should be glad or not that he had returned to his previous apathetic behavior. 

 

She was about to hand him the trail, when she remembered he missed an arm, and thought better of it.

 

Sasuke seemingly read her mind because his expression turned sour and he lit the light switch. Sakura unceremoniously placed the trail in the bed, noting messed up coverings and the strong husky smell coming of it. Was he sleeping all day? She wonders. He needs a bath, too. 

 

"It's my cooking, I hope you like it, Sasuke-kun." She lies, deceptively coy.

 

"Thank you."

 

He says, but all she hears is I am sorry. Her eyes widen at the familiar tone, and the bittersweet memories that came with it. 

 

"Ha." She hold her hands behind her back, bashful. "I was just kidding... Unfortunately this is hospital food." She feels her throat constrict then, and she avoids his eyes.

 

She looks for her book in silence, hyper aware of his presence at the door. Or course he will only eat when she leaves. To her surprise, she finds her book rather easily, luckily, it's not at the bottom of any pile.

 

She faces him. "Sasuke-kun, come with me for a second, I will show you how to work the shower."

 

The thought of them sharing the same shower would definitely give her a nosebleed if she was a couple of years younger. She knew better now, but even so, she feels goosebumps as she steps into the shower to demonstrate how to use it, while he is just behind her, by the sink, the mirror over it reflecting his perfect profile.

 

"Wait a couple of seconds... And then, you have hot water." She finished explaining, feeling stupid for blushing and for getting water splashed in her sleeve. 

 

Get a hold. She clears her throat.

 

"Just be careful not to wet the bandages in your left shoulder, OK?" Stepping in the role of the doctor always did wonders for her confidence. The feeling of inadequacy vanishes without a trace. "It's all healed but I'll want to examine it tomorrow to take samples." 

 

She gladly steps out of it and makes for the door. Sasuke doesn't move though, standing like a statue in the way. How he glances at her, his expression unreadable, stirs something defiant in her. She gazes back at him. This was her house, he would not make her uncomfortable in it. She leaves the tiny bathroom brushing past him.

 

"Thank you." He says quietly, the moment their shoulders bump.

 

She freezes, but it's only for a second, and she is walking again. Even as she turn her back at him, her bow is furrowed.

 

So much for being angry at him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> I was doing some editing of the next chapters so it took longer than I expected to post. The next ones should come quicker.

It's long past midnight but Sasuke is awake. 

 

He had just given up trying to sleep. Again. Sleep that came so easily to him during the day apparently has abandoned him for good. He resents his growing agitation for keeping him away from the bliss of the oblivion that was unconsciousness. His bed is a mess of thrown over covers, evidence of his turning and turning in search of sleep only to find it denied. 

 

Oh, fuck it. He decides, getting up with a jolt. 

 

His is a certain type of mood that asks for action - training, long walks by himself, physical draining of all restless energy - but he will take what he can. She would be asleep at this time and he had to do something, anything, or he would go insane. As much opposed to wandering Sakura's home as he was before, now it seemed like the only thing he could do other or those unpleasant thoughts would caught up to him.

 

He walked out of his room making as little noise as possible, he doesn't bother closing his door. His window is left open as he didn't dare to touch it again since the accident in the morning.

 

The night breeze softly blew the curtains away. It allowed the distant moonshine to light his way as he stepped into the corridor. Each creak his bare feet produces on the floor makes him expect, quite irrationally, Sakura to appear out of the shadows and confront him. 

 

It's a recurrent fantasy, if he could call it that. One that has haunted ever since he left Konoha. Since then, somehow Sakura had joined the disappointed faces of his parents. He would see them when he felt like he couldn't go on. When what he saw with Orochimaru was just too much. When he feared what he was becoming. In those moments he could summon her presence in his imagination. He would see her disappointed expression then, even her tears when she'd finally realized that he was twisted beyond recognition. And he had imagined scenarios in which she would argue with him, only to disappoint and frustrate herself further, and finally look at him with eyes full of hate, and not love.

 

He found a masochist soothing quality in those. Now he knew his imagination was finding an outlet for his guilty. It started with guilty and ended with hate. It always ended with hate because he had preferred that feeling and the isolation that came with it than entertaining the thought he was letting others down. Those bonds he had thought he severed... If Naruto and Sakura, and everyone else in the world, came to hate him, maybe he wouldn't feel that pain. 

 

Even now, feeling guilty was paralyzing. He didn't know how to deal with it. Apologizing did nothing to squash it inside himself, and if there was someone that made him feel it most, it was Sakura and her insistent affection.

 

Though now she doesn't let it show as much, he thought, scowling the instant it crossed his mind. But the fact he now found himself inside her bathroom made it hard to distance his thoughts from her. The place had coral tiles from the floor to the walls, and had a faint smell of a fragrance he couldn't quite identify. It reminded him of a forest, the smell of trees and flowers. 

 

Just being there felt like a invasion of her personal space. A breach in her privacy. If he wanted, he could see what kind of shampoo she used. Knowing something so mundane like that felt intimate, domestic even, and he wasn't close to her to earn that knowledge. Not that I want to, he thought, as he stripped of his clothes. 

 

The hot water was like a blessing in his skin. Sasuke let out a pleasured hiss and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. It's been too long since he bathed in a shower. Even longer when he felt he could indulge in it, without worrying about letting his guard down or just wasting precious time. Now he had nothing to do, no goal to pursue, he couldn't avoid staying a bit longer. There was no need to hush. He let his forehead rest in the piles while the water relaxed his muscles. There was still some remaining cramp in his limbs, the result of pushing himself to his limits in the war. 

 

It's too late when he realizes he had already wet his bandages.

 

The wet cloth melted in his skin, becoming transparent, allowing him to see how dark his skin was underneath. Even so, there was so pain. With morbid curiosity, he peels the bandages from his stub, wanting to see how it looked for the first time without them.

 

It resembled nothing he had seen before, the skin was of a bluish hue as his body hadn't absorbed all the blood that came with extreme rupture of vases. He feels its surface with his hand and is almost started at how smooth it feels. It is almost like there was never a bone and an arm in that place. 

 

In short, it looks wrong. He can't bring himself to look much at it anymore. It may be just his imagination, but the water feels colder, and the bath less enjoyable all of sudden, so he ends it.

 

Naked, with droplets of water dripping on his back and hair flat against his face, he ponders, perhaps too long, if that pink and flowered towel was really the one Sakura had picked from him. Perhaps that was her idea of payback. He still expected her to confront him, but it wouldn't be over this. 

 

It might be tomorrow then, for disobeying her instructions. He had decided to get rid of the bandages, as they didn't feel as tight after he wet them. He saw little harm in what he did, his arm was healed anyways. 

 

He wanders in the corridor again, like a ghost that has nowhere to go. For the first time, he goes to the kitchen and the living room. He stops walking suddenly as he is greeted by the image of Sakura, sleeping against her books in the table, the light of a lamp glowing brightly on her hair.

 

Her position looked wholly uncomfortable. Starting by the severe curve of her back as she leaned over a large volume, to the little support of her head in the crook of a folded arm, while the hand of the other still held loosely a pencil. Her legs were outstretched forward her bare feet touched the floor. Against all odds, her chest moved slowly in deep slumber.

 

Before he can stop himself, Sasuke snorts, a small smile lifting his lips for a moment. His expression turn serious again as he watches from movement, afraid he might had awaken her. But she keeps sleeping, or... Another though crosses his mind, was she already awake? She was a kunoichi after all. She wasn't comfortable enough around him to unconsciously drop her guards to this point. At this close range, if he was an enemy, Sakura would be already dead if she was indeed asleep. 

 

He tried to see her expression, but her face was hidden in the shadows. He was used to her looking healthy, with a pink glow to her skin, at least she looked like that all those years before. But she had looked exhausted ever since he saw her in the battlefield. She looked ever worse now, all pale with dark rings under her eyes. She probably was indeed asleep, too tired to notice his presence.

 

He should be back to his room. He knew she wouldn't like him to see her vulnerable like that.

 

But, instead, he moves forward.

 

Slowly, careful, he steps closely without having a clear purpose in his mind. He stops just by the side of the table, eyeing the texts she was reading. It was hard for him to understand what it was about, exactly, but it obviously had something to do with the arm implant for him and Naruto.

 

In the past he wouldn't imagine Sakura would grow to be so strong and important. But back then, he wouldn't imagine any of his old team, including himself, to reach such lengths. Though, differently from his two teamates, his accomplishments were far more debatable.

 

Sasuke keeps watching Sakura, as his thoughts drift freely, unaware she is very much awake and only feigning sleep. But then again he had underestimated her.

 

It naturally him to see her more as someone he had to protect instead to rely on. But there's a part of himself that had always wanted to know what she could do. They rarely spared together during training, she usually went up against Kakashi, leaving him and Naruto to fight until the end of their of their strength, throwing blunt punches around.

 

Perhaps that's why he felt something close to fascination, as only a welcome surprise can bring, when he saw that she blow things up with her hands, quite literally. He hasn't come to a conclusion on how it worked yet. He didn't know how she could gather chackra so quickly and blast it like a bomb. It didn't require any handsigns, making it extremely dangerous for someone that couldn't watch or feel the abruptness of the chacka flow.

 

He would like to see it again, with his sharingan. Preferenceably in combat. It was brutish, but very effective. Looking so petite made her strenght all more deceptive.

 

He watches her like he hadn't seeing enough of her, even as his expression is impassive, giving nothing away that he is thinking. Then just suddenly as his impulse to stand closer to her, an impossible scenario start unfolding in his mind's eye. In which he sees himself reaching his only hand and softly resting it on her shoulder, stirring her awake. He sees his fingeres brushing her hair away from her face as she would woke up, and look at him with shock in her eyes.

 

In reality, his hands stays heavy by his side, and his expression darkens.

 

If he acted it out, how would she react? Would she be glad, because wasn't something like this that she longed for since she claims to love him? Or would she recoil, indignant, as he did nothing to deserve to touch her like that? 

 

You've always been a coward, haven't you?

 

Suddenly, he hears the echo of the dream in his mind, or it might be his consciousness taunting him. It's not only guilty. He recognizes the realm of possibilities lost, and the ones that could come to be, if he simply acted differently, acted the opposite of who he was, and it's so frustrating. What she had to offer him was always tempting and it didn't change now, but perhaps more so than in the past, he has even less to offer to her. More than ever, it seems improble because of who he become.

 

-A coward

 

The echo is insistent, and it brings confusing feelings to surface.

 

-A coward.

 

His eyes narrow. What was he so afraid of?

 

"Sakura." He calls, almost an whisper, because he has to prove something to himself, even if he doesn't know what. Touching her, though, is just too much.

 

At this she stirs, unnaturally slow for a ninja. She barely change her position, now he sees how stiff she is in it, as she raise her head from her arm, looking up to face him. There's something in her eyes that make him pause. There's no trace of sleep there. She was faking rather well, he concedes.

 

He avoids her eyes, disgruntled, for being fooled so easily.

 

He reaches towards her, noticing how the gesture makes her tense. His fingers turn off the switch of the lamp with a snapping sound, casting them in the dark.

 

"I thought..." He starts, did he think anything at all? "... that you'd prefer to sleep in your room."

 

Sakura allows herself to relax a little as she brushes her bangs away from her eyes and rubs her face with her hands, a deep sight escaping her lips. 

 

"Oh..." She says, in a small voice. "I fell asleep." 

 

She goes silent. She makes no movement of getting up. Instead she lits the lamp again. "Thank you for waking me up, Sasuke-kun." She smiles, somewhat tearfully. Or perhaps it's just sleep making her eyes watery. "I''ll finish this chapter and go to sleep."

 

Sasuke looks at her incredulous. "Cant you finish it in the morning?"

 

She smiles again. "I could, but I want to study more before my reunion with Tsunade-sama tomorrow. You may go to sleep now, Sasuke kun."

 

Something told him she would not go to bed so soon. "You are overworking yourself." He states.

 

"I'll survive." She beams. "But thanks for your concern."

 

He looks at her again and doesn't get what she is doing, her cheer doesn't seem natural. I'll stay here until you finish it, he wants to say, a threat to force her to drop her bullshit. But he notices her hands, how they are shaking, remembers watery eyes. 

 

"Fine." He says as he turn his back at her, feeling oddly deflated. 

 

"Thank you again." Her voice cracks in the last sillabe, alarming him. But when she talks again her voice is smooth. "Have a good night." 

 

He hesitates. A long moment passes before he replies her. "... You too." He murmurs back, so low she might not hear.

 

He slips into his room, quietly, trying to grasp what had just happened. He doesn't understand her reaction to his action. The gratitude in her voice felt genuine, even though the tone was heavy with feeling and almost too much for him to bear. And she wanted him to leave. Like she was about to cry.

 

He has to admit he isn't good confronting her either. What a coward, indeed. So he left. Leaving her was only natural, after all. He wonders what might happen when he finally decides to stay.


	8. Chapter 8

She was panicking and she hated it. 

 

"I think I'm loosing it." 

 

Sakura let out the confession in between gritted teeth, like it pained her to admit so. Like the words had an edge that cut as they breaked through the tight knot in her throat that she would shove all the things left better unsaid.

 

Her head is bowed, almost resting in her forearms as she slumped against the balcony. When she raises her eyes, glazed over by tears, she is surprised to see a pitying glance thrown her way. She thought she had said it quietly enough so no one would hear. 

 

The disapproving stare of the barmen show her she is mistaken. "For starters, why aren't you sleeping right now?" He drawls, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

That question makes something snap. Sakura feels like chucking, instead she just smirks, as the tears start falling from her eyes. About time, she thinks, to start crying. She blinks rapidly, and brush them away with the back of her hand immediately. 

 

Thankfully, the barmen doesn't remark on her tears. He pretends he didn't see anything, turning his head brusquely just before the first tears started falling. She is so moved by this small gesture of giving her space she feels her eyes become threatening warm again.

 

"You are right." She says, head bowed again as she took her time to sober up. She knows that seeing the sunrise through the dusty windows of a bar isn't the most sensible way to start a day. She eyes her empty cut of sake, she was still in her second one but her mind felt far too slow already. Apparently going on without sleep had also inebriating effects. 

 

"So... Go home already." The old man said, as it it was that simple.

 

Mr. Toshiro, Sakura mind supplied his name moment after she squinted at him. She was afraid that she would ran up again Tsunade as she decided to go to his bar, but she was lucky. Her shishou was far too busy to be drinking in her favorite spot. Even so, it felt wrong to be there by herself. She usually drinks accompanied by someone. 

 

"Yeah, I should be going." She says slowly, as she search her purse to pay him. 

 

"Can you get home safely?" He asks, concerned. 

 

"Yeah." She feels so tired. Why was she avoiding sleeping anyways? Now it seems the only thing she wanted to do in the world. She has successfully shut down all her thoughts by pure tiredness, she hadn't succeed however, in shutting off her emotions. Much to her annoyance, she still brushes stray tears as she head home, walking empty and silent streets. Sakura has always been a day person, she doesn't know which point she started to prefer the night and its somberness over the radiance of the sun. It probably happened years ago, when she first started taking long shifts in the hospital. Or way before, when she settled her eyes on a dark shadow of a boy.

 

She climbs her building by the sides, concentrating chackra in her hand and feet, crawling her way up to her window like a cat. She doesn't even remember falling into the bed. 

 

She wakes up to the sound of her alarm clock. She reacts so quickly that she is startled by the sound of it exploding against the wall. 

 

"Shit." I must stop doing this, she thinks, but again, smashing something isn't a terrible way to start a day.

 

Calmer, she pushes herself to a seated position and rubs her eyes, her hands glowing green. Outside the sun is shinning hot as Sakura pushes soothing chakra into her head to stop a growing headache. Despite a certain dizziness, she feels a lot better. It's been a while since she had been so well rested. And what a perfect night of sleep! Not even one nightmare. 

 

She gets up and stretches, let out a sight as her muscles protest against the movement. She drags herself into the bathroom and instantly dischart all her clothes and step into the shower. She turns it so it's cold enough to make her shake for a moment before she gets used to it. The cold water always had a clarifying effect in her senses. So much she remembers Sasuke, research, and her meeting with Tsunade, exactly in that order, anxiousness growing as she comes back to reality. 

 

What time is it? She thinks, worriedly.

 

She gets off the shower and dries herself in record time. Just then she realizes she has forgotten to grab clothes. She panics for a moment before the possibility of running against Sasuke like that, but quickly cynicism take over her mind. 

 

Oh, well. She thinks as she wraps the towel against herself, what are the chances of that happening? Even if it did, it's not like he will look anything but indifferent. As she get in the corridor, she notices his door is shut. What a shame, a part of herself sights dejectedly. She gets into her usual ninja attire with hurry, and quickly go to the kitchen.

 

It's still 8 in the morning, she realizes looking into the large analogical clock she placed over the fridge. She bits her lips in indecision. Her appointment with Tsunade starts exactly at 8. If she hushes there she will get by with just 5 minutes of lateness. But what about Sasuke? She has to prepare something for him to eat as breakfast, she doesn't know if the appointment would take long. She makes her mind. Five minutes later, she goes to his room and knock in his door three times. 

 

"Sasuke-kun!" She calls, scroll and books already in her arms. "I have an appointment with Tsunade right now."

 

No reply.

 

"I'm sorry if I awoke you.... but I just wanted to say you can and should have breakfast if you hungry! I've set the table for you. I don't know when I will return." 

 

Still no reply. Sakura bites her lips again, and fights the impulse of trying to communicate with him again. He felt so close to her just a few hours ago. He watched for minutes that felt like whole days as she put effort in pretending to be asleep. He felt gentle, caring and she was moved to tears because it's been so long and she is emotional, maybe too much. To the point it annoyed her, it certainly annoyed him so she had to hide the tears.

 

She bit her lip, coming to terms with the silence on the other side of the door. "I'm leaving!" She can't waste more time.

 

The village is a bloat of colors and a confusion of voices as she speeds through it. She finds herself in Tsunade's office before she can properly slow down. 

 

"Sakura!" Tsunade greets, from behind her desk sharply. She isn't started, but the annoyance in her voice tells Sakura she was probably dozing off before she awoke by her arrival. 

 

"I'm sorry for being late." She apologizes out of breath, sheepish and tense. She was in such a hush Sakura probably looks like a mess. 

 

Truthfully enough: "You look like hell." Tsunade comments, casually, confirming her thoughts.

 

Sakura's shoulders hunch slightly, defensively. 

 

"Are you having trouble sleeping again?" 

 

Tsunade always had a certain tone that made her feel like a completely hookie. "Sometimes." She admits, noticing her eyes to getting warm with understanding. Tsunade knows better than anyone how damaging a war can be to medic nins. Sometimes the blood of those you couldn't save came back in the nights. 

 

The window behind her shows Sakura a clear, blue sky. She fixes her eyes on it while the Hokage watches her clinically. 

 

"Is the Uchiha troubling you?" Sakura glances back at her, surprised by her bluntness.

 

"No." She responds automatically. She is troubling herself over him, that was more like the truth. 

 

"Well?" Tsunade presses. Sakura blinks, surprised she is asking for details. Should she have written a report on him?

 

"He didn't react well when he learned of the seal." She decided to tell. Tsunade clicks her tongue, as if saying it was to be expected. "He got angry." Sakura felt her words didn't come even close to what she had witnessed. His intense stare at her, one moment, the other, in which he avoided looking at her, as if she ceased to exist altogether. The cruel smirk in his face.

 

"But other than that, most of the time he just seems distant. Depressed... even." But what to make of his alarming soft tone when he tried to suposedly awoke her? Of all the heavy thank you's that sounded more like veiled apologies? "But sometimes..." Sakura hesitated, with that in mind. "Sometimes it looks like... Like he is closer, and that maybe I could reach him."

 

And that possibility puts her mind to a suffocating nothingness, all rationality gone. She didn't know how to take it when he looked like he cared. 

 

"I don't know how to deal with him." She confesses. She feels embarrassed to be talking about her obvious feelings to her master, but she asked, after all. "I want to help him, so badly, but I don't know how. I don't even know him anymore."

 

Tsunade makes a thoughtful noise in the back of her throat. 

 

"And have you tried motivational hugs?"

 

Sakura pauses. "W-what?"

 

"Soul-healing kisses maybe?" 

 

Sakura is mortified. "What! No!" She protests, her heartbeat hushing to her ears. 

 

Tsunade chuckles. "Sorry." She shakes her head. "It just that you looked so serious, I wanted to tease you a bit."

 

Tsunade sobers suddenly before asking. "Do you want my honest opinion?" As the pink haired girl can't articulate any thought, her master continues.

 

"I think he likes you too." She says it, like she isn't shattering Sakura's mind with her words. "But he is a damaged kid." She adds, forehead furrowed. "And there are some things that can't be fixed, not at this point. His future will always be tainted by the choices he took. He might be forgiven, he may gain a new arm, but he will probably never function in the shinobi world normally. The council is afraid of him, you know. After all he killed Danzou, and they know they are the next in the line." 

 

"But he has given up revenge. Naruto told me so." 

 

"That doesn't matter. Having this much of power will always make him be feared, plus, he is a wild card still." Tsunade shakes her head. "And people don't forget so easily about the war, about how it was brought upon us by Uchihas." 

 

Sakura lips presses in a thin line. She knows that, everyone knew that. "What are you trying to say?"

 

Tsunades looks at her. "I'm just warning you to be careful to what you are getting into. Because I have a feeling you two will end up getting involved." 

 

She pauses, gaping. "What gave you that impression?" Sakura closes a fist, feels anger bubbling under her skin at each word. How can Tsunade so casually imply what was impossible for her to conceive? "Why would anyone think that?"

 

Her mentor rolls her eyes.

 

"When I came back to Konoha I healed him, remember?" She smiles, her lipgloss catching light. "After he wake up you two hugged like two lovebirds." 

 

Sakura isn't swayed, even if it hurt a bit remembering how he let her hold him. "That was four years ago." By the time Sakura sometimes thought that he might retribute her feelings, and most importantly, she was sure he cared for her and Naruto as teammates. But so much time has passed. "Its virtually another life-time."

 

"And yet your feelings for him are the same. Perhaps what he felt didn't change either." Tsunade says. "You have to consider this possibility, too, Sakura." 

 

She smiles bitterly, remembering the illusion of him tearing her chest open. Remembering the cold feel of the kunai in her hands that she intended to bury on his back. Even if he liked her back, she knows this isn't any fairytail. 

 

"I don't get it anymore." She says truthfully, with growing indignation. "Wasn't that what you and Kakashi wanted when you decided on his house arrest? You were counting on... my feelings for him to make a difference on his adaptation, weren't you?"

 

She sights. "That was my decision as the Hokage, it was the most logical." Sakura could see the logic behind it. It was academy basics, feelings are weakness that could be exploited. She tried it with him, with varying degrees of failure. 

 

If you have me in however small place in your heart...

 

"But..." Tsuande paused, searching for the right words. "Even if it's our only course of action, what I feel, personally, towards this is doubt." Sakura is speechless again. "That's what I am trying to tell you. Use this time with him to see things objectively, if you may. Be ready to recognize, if faced with that possibility, that you can't fix him." Sakura opens her mouth to retort but tsunade isn't over yet. "And if that happens, don't feel like you own him anything. You've already done enough." 

 

"And so have Naruto." She completes. "Now it depends on him to meet you two halfway"

 

"..." Heavy silence ensue, until Sakura smiles a bit sai-like. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore, not until she settle her thoughts and feelings on the matter. "Can we discuss the research now?" 

 

Tsunade doesn't object. And if she notice that Sakura was shaken by what shw said she doesn't mention it either. An hour pass before Tsunade suddenly gets up from her chair. "I have a reunion with merchants now." She tells Sakura, making her leap from her seat. 

 

Before Tsunade could leave, her student interrupts. She has to state, suddenly it's all clear in her mind. "I understand your point, but I am not discouraged." She throws her fierce look. "Rather the opposite. I think I should thank you, now I am more determined than ever."

 

Sakura hands shake as she fists them with strength. Tsunade had asked her to see things in perspective, and for the first time Sakura realized that she could. Her mind summoned the memory of Naruto in the written exam of the Chunnin Exam, slamming his hand in the table and boldly declaring he would not quit. Despite not having a clue of what he was doing in the test, or if he would be punished. He refused to be afraid even if he didn't have any control of the situation. 

 

Yes, Naruto never gives up, and I won't either. She may not be able to fix Sasuke, that much was truth, but she wouldn't stop from trying her best to. She would not become paralyzed by the possibility of failing. Not anymore. Even if she felt overwhelmed and hurt she would not give up this chance to help him. She had to try, for her own sake too, so she knew that she did everything that what she could. 

 

"I won't care so much about the outcome." She said, articulating her thoughts out loud. If she crashed and burned dealing with him, then so be it. Naruto had given up an arm for him, she could at least give up her pride. "I care about trying. I won't give up." 

 

Her shishou scowled and huffed. "I had a feeling you would say something like that." Sakura felt her face burn with shame instantly. She had angered Tsunade! Despite this, her point stood. She watched, feeling very small, as the legend crossed the room clicking her heels at the floor without another glance at her. She stopped, suddenly. She had her back turned, and hand in the doorknob, but even in the imminence of leaving, Tsunade lingered.

 

She looked at her over her shoulder in the mist of her hesitance.

 

"Talk to the Yamanaka." She said, hushed. As if the words were coming against her will. "She may be able to help." 

 

Sakura gasped, and she was gone. A second later, she went after her, and beamed to her back in the corridor of the hospital. "Thank you!" 

 

Sakura didn't feel so relieved in a long time. She hushed to her house after she stopped by the market, balancing with some difficult her bag of groceries and the material of her research in her arms. From what Tsunade told her, her studies were spot on. She had just to continue on that line... And avoid the stress, Sakura retold her words to her, reluctantly. She didn't want to mess up in her next psychological evaluation, it would make her seem unstable, and give the Council a excuse to doubt her competence which could affect Sasuke's future. 

Perhaps what I needed was to let out some of my feelings, she pondered, as she passed through the busy streets. The movement of commerce was increasing day by day, after being subdued and next to nonexistent during the war. She blinked rapidly, glad that the heaviness in her eyes was finally gone. Sakura hated being so emotional, but she had to deal with it. If she didn't, her feelings got the best of her and she couldn't function. 

 

Drinking wasn't the best coping mechanism, though. She knew that, Tsunade knew that too, but just like her master she was finding herself being attracted to the alcohol and its numbing spell, the fact that the hangovers could be prevented with their medical skills didn't help either. And crying wasn't much better, and it made her feel weak, but at least it didn't damage her liver.

 

There was also the issue of her messed up sleeping patterns. Sleep has eluded her since the war and as much as she ached to some good night of rest, she didn't want to close her eyes and see the battlefield again. Now that she had more time in her hands she would resume her training routine, that was the only solution she could think of. Pushing her muscles to their limit always granted her dreamless nights.

 

And finally, there was the issue of Sasuke. This one, in particularly, was the hardest to deal with, and it made all the others pale in comparison . As Sakura opened the door to her house, she vowed to come up with a better battle plan, if she could call it that, a better strategy to how interact with him. Some short of plan to break through his walls and to be closer enough so she could help him heal. That was what she had always wanted and that was what he needed right now. 

 

As she sees him sat by her table, their eyes instantly meet. His hair is ruffled like feathers of a bird, falling against his fair skin in a messy way that only flattered his features. His eyes as usual, gave nothing away, not even after she announced enthusiastically: 

 

"Im back!" 

 

He doesn't reply either, and he turns his head to face that table. And for once, the lack of response didn't faze her. Even if he tried to ignore her, Sasuke was right there, in her house. And he would be, at least at the end of the month. She had time, and he wasn't going no where so soon. And he had apologized, countless times. He regretted everything. 

 

In short, he was ready to change. And she would be part of it. She grins at him, like she haven't smiled in a long time. She felt hopeful out of sudden. 

 

I'll make you fall in love with me, a part of her boldly declares in the depths of her mind. She doesn't have it in her to disagree.


	9. Chapter 9

She was in a good mood.

 

Sasuke realized that in the way a small smile permanently stuck to her face, as she went about the kitchen.

 

"Would you like some eggs?" She said, opening the refrigerator. He made a affirmative noise in the back of his throat, and tried very hard not to watch her. It was an attempt to avoid dwelling in this moment all together, and all the others, long past, it could bring forth.

 

There's a tight knot to his throat that feels like choking. The domestically of it all was maddening. When was the last time he patiently sat a table and had breakfast made for him? Back when my mother was alive, he realizes, bitterly. And the memory of her was one he tried the hardest not to visit. It was something he missed for so long until the ache turned to a numbing lack.

 

"I took off the bandages." He says, out of the blue, surprising Sakura and himself. Perhaps it was an attempt to soil her mood, to stop seeing the dead mother in her in the warm glow of the morning.

 

"What?"

 

"I removed them." He repeats.

 

"Why?" Sakura asks, as she faces him, hands in her hips messing up the blue apron she wore.

 

"I wet them in the shower." He replies, looking at her nails instead of her face because it was easier.

 

"Well, no matter." She replies. Sasuke's surprised by this. She thought she would be angry at him. Instead, she stills looks vaguely pleased with something, and the lightness in her tone is something he hadn't listened in a long time. "I had a feeling this would happen."

 

"Well, let's fix it." And hardly without any pause, she orders. "Take off your shirt."

 

Sasuke looks at her over the kitchen table, and for the first time their eyes meet in a good light and angle that day. Her face still holds a small smile. Sasuke feels betrayed by the rush he feels. He is caught off guard by the prompt request, but he will not let it show.

 

He gets off the chair, and with some difficult, sling his long dark sleeved shirt over his head. Meanwhile Sakura produced a medkit seemingly out of nowhere. She probably aided ninjas in her house before, his mind provides an explanation. Some like Kakashi were peculiar about going to the hospital.

 

She gets closer, holding a scapel. "I will need to take a sample of your arm tissue before wrapping up."

 

Sasuke raises his eyebrow.

 

"Don't worry, this will not hurt a thing. I will anesthetized your arm first." She laid one hand in his stub as she produced a green glow that made his skin feel cold before it start prickling. And then there was nothing.

 

"Touch it so you can feel it's numb." She says, still with her hand glowing green. Sasuke does as instructed, and feels that she is right. His arm never felt more alien as he can't even feel it.

 

"You may look away, if you prefer."

 

Sasuke doesn't. He had always watched whatever medical procedure Kabuto subjected him to and this was nothing compared to it. Kabuto also didn't had such a easy time giving him anesthesia or he simply refused to, either for torture or for Orochimaru instructions.. Sasuke tolerance for pain was higher than Sakura could ever imagine. His tolerance of gruesome sights, even if they were his own body, was beyond what she should possible grasp.

 

This is nothing, he tells himself. In one of the numerous experiments with the second stage of curse seal, once his wings - or was it a monstrous hand growing in his back? - didn't fade into the mark as it was supposed to. So Kabuto extracted them, making him watch because Sasuke had demanded so. He'd never willing shut his eyes in the front of that guy, he'd rather face whatever nightmare came at night to expose himself like that. So Kabuto cut it off from his body with his chakra scalpel, quickly it had being extracted with a precise swing of his hands. The mirror over the surgery table granted him full view of the disturbing sight. And for a moment, he couldn't process it, it felt wrong, as wrong as an arm being cut off. After the shock waned, and pain registered sharping like lightening. He fell in the floor of the laboratory, shouting, hands shooting to grasp at the gaping wound in a attempt to ease the pain. His fingers instantly met warm, slick liquid. It wasn't supposed to have the amount of blood of a normal limb, Kabuto told him. But even so he felt his hand slip from his back, and when he looked at it, his fingers were smeared red...

 

Sasuke forces himself back to reality as he realizes he feels cold and that there's heartbeat hushing in his ears.

 

He let out a shaky breath. He chooses to focus on Sakura's presence, and her closeness. And it provides him a very good distraction, though the pounding of his heart doesn't subdue. He's barely aware of the way she cuts the superficial skin of his arm, or the way tick blood escapes into a flask.

 

"You ok?" She asks, raising her eyes to meet his, hands already healing the cut. 

 

He looks back at her intensely, unconsciously hoping to anchor himself. It's Sakura, not Kabuto. It's Sakura.

 

Sakura. Sakura. Sakura.

 

Under the prolonged eye contact, her cheeks flush, making his eyes widen at the sight. It was such a long time since she looked like that. She looks away first. Sasuke looks left, to the wall, any thought of the unpleasant past long gone from his mind as his mind replayed her image. That, perhaps, was a whole new type of anesthesia.

 

She returns to his side with gauze, and he resumes his observation of her. He focus in the warmth of her hands as she support one in his shoulder, while the other pulls the gauze tight against his darkened skin. She looks so concentrated as she does it, serious even. He knows that she can tell he is watching her, but she doesn't meet his eyes again. And the flush in her cheeks does't return to warm her pale complexion.

 

His mouth curls in a scowl. He doesn't like it, how composed she looks so quickly. When they were younger, if he so much as looked at her more than a full minutes she would squirm in place, that was how easily she could affect her.

 

"Almost done." She tells him, despite the fact half of his unsightly skin is still there from him to see. She's telling it to herself, because she wants to finish the task quickly, he realizes.  
.

Sasuke entertains the notion of grasping her hand, for some unknown reason, and it's only a fleeting thought before he actually does it.

 

He stops her palm with his, and simultaneously, a lot of things happen. She pauses abruptly and her concentrated expression falls. She also steps back, looking confused, but doesn't take her hand away from his hold.

 

"I can finish it." He tells her, before letting it go.

 

Sakura hold the hand he had captured with her own, like it's cradling something fragile. "Well I-..." She babbles.

 

"I can do it." He interrupts, as he picks the task.

 

Visibly, she tries to recompose herself gaping like a fish out of water. Sasuke feels a ounce of satisfaction at outcome of his impulsiveness. He keeps looking at her, trowing her off, delaying the moment she comes to her senses.

 

"Wait." She snaps out of it, placing her hands in her hips. "I am the doctor here!" 

 

She steps up and takes the gauze away from him, with determination. "I'm the doctor." She points at him. "You're the patient. Not the other way around, understand?" Sasuke lets her resume the task without protesting, amused. This time she wraps it quicker, almost viciously. "You listen to what I have to say and let me do my thing!"

 

"Seriously, Sasuke-kun!" She's irritated. "Is it that hard to trust me?"

 

He raises an eyebrow. This was not about trust. It was about control. "Let me do something for you, for once. Let me do my job. " Now she sounds just plain frustrated. Her eyes are narrowed, still avoiding his. "Don't be so difficult."

 

Like I could be any different, he thinks, and feels an ironic smile quirking up his lips. Just then she pears at him and catches his look. She frowns. "Looking like that it's easy to tell what you are thinking." She shoots, sharply.

 

"Enlighten me."

 

Just then she finishes the bandage, and ties the loose ends with an knot. Head tilled to the ground, she puts away her medical supplies and wash her hands, scrubbing her palms. Sasuke awaits, a feeling of anticipation growing on him. She moves back to the oven, and much to his surprise, resumes her task. She cracks an egg open with her fingers as if it was nothing. She throws it in a pan and starts frying. 

 

Sasuke watches, confused. He was pretty sure she was going for an argument. He isn't mistaken, though, she takes her time in silence. When she talks, her tone is cynical but even.

 

"You're thinking that my words are useless, because of how far superior you are to me." Her back is turned to him, and he finds it unnerving. "Like they can't possibly scratch the surface of your gigantic ego."

 

His eyes narrow. "As expected you are wrong."

 

"As expected, huh?" She laughs, and the egg start boiling. "When will I ever be right enough so you will listen to me?"

 

Her words are affecting him. He can feel it by the way his heartbeat picks up, the way the bitterness lurks underneath the irritation.

 

He growls. "Don't overreact."

 

It was the wrong think to say. Sakura throws him a heated look over her shoulder quickly, leaving him with both regret and a far more contradicting feeling. What was this excitement coming from?

 

"No. You're right."

 

Sasuke was surprised by her admission. Was she actually agreeing with him without putting up resistence?

 

"I was overreacting." She says, as she looks at him, and gaze is determined. She turns off the fire in the stove, and places the egg on top of a sandwich. "But you can't blame me. I can only assume what you are thinking, if you won't tell me a thing."

 

She takes the seat facing him, and pushes his plate to his direction on the table as if a peace offering. Sasuke could recognize a diversion when he saw one. She conceded to his point, only to changed the subject. That way, she held the flow of the conversation.

The smell of the food and her intent stare makes him feel like eight years old again. "I don't have to tell you anything." He says, stalling, buying time. 

 

Sakura leans forward, putting her elbows on the table. "That's the problem, Sasuke-kun. Be honest with me, do you want to change?"

 

Change? What's she's on about? His eyes narrow, and he doesn't dignify to answer. But Sakura seems unaffected to his silence. "If you really want to change you have to embrace change." She adds. He's well aware she's searching something on his face. It's unnerving. "To do that, you have to try to do things differently."

 

"Like trusting me." She finishes, with a smile. When his face remains impassive, she jabs: "Or do you want to stay as you are?"

 

"As you are?" He repeated, ironically.

 

"Yeah" Her gaze goes warm. "Broken, as you are."

 

The words hit a nerve. "That's just how I am." He says, quietly, eyes very dull.

 

"It doesn't have to be like this." Sakura pushes, her hand comes to rest over his in the table, and her palm is warm against his cold one. "Naruto, Kakashi and I are here for you, we want to help you out, if you'd let us."

 

He looks at their hands, joined, a second longer before removing his. Never mind with me - he remembers how he felt after the battle, and the feeling still lingers, somewhere in the back of his mind. Sasuke thinks, not without a inch of regret, that he was about to ruin her mood completely.

 

He looks at her, his gaze sharper, and she senses the shift, because she stands up straighter.

 

"I didn't want you to heal me." He admits, each word carrying weight even though his tone was barely above a whisper. "I could've died there. I wished for it, I still do, I think."

 

After being defeated, after being wrong, what else was there for him? In his periphery he saw his two teammates, alive, and together. He could easily imagine a future in which he was dead, and Sakura and Naruto had a family. If he was dead, the world wouldn't be haunted by the thought of the Uchiha and that perhaps, was the only way he would ever clean up their clan's name. Allowing it's legacy of hate to disappear with himself. 

 

Even if he had people that cared for him, despite all the hardships it would bring them, that didn't mean he had a place in the world anymore. And caring wasn't enough. He needed a porpuse. He always needed one to keep going, he didn't know how to live differently. And now he was aimless, a broken tool that had no further use. 

 

Sasuke watches Sakura's eyes glistening with tears, mute shock in her lips. 

 

"Don't say that." He entertains telling her that he had thought of giving in, countless times before. This was just the first time he articulated this thoughts.

 

"But, didn't you want to know what's in my mind?" He says, a humorless smile in his lips.. "This is just a fraction of it. Can you handle it, Sakura?"

 

"I can." She nods feverish, as a tear touches her cheek, her eyes filled with emotion. Sasuke holds his breath, he shouldn't see this. He knows what's about to happen. There's a familiar pull in his chest and a sense of deja-vu. He can't stop her words now.

 

"I want to know everything about you Sasuke-kun." She says, there was anguish and strength in her tone. She gazes at him and it stirs something that makes his sharingan activates without his consent, spinning in its orbit. "You can tell me everything, the good, the bad, your fears, your desires, everything. I accept all of your darkness, and I'll help you shoulder it, if only you'd allow me to."

 

She did it again. It felt like a confession with different wording, but the feelings it brought were the same. Sasuke never fails to be amazed at how easily swayed he's by this. This time, however, they were facing each other and the impact was even greater. His sharingan had just committed her expression to his memory forever, he didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse in itself. When she looked and sounded like he was the only thing in the world that mattered he felt as one would feel being lifted from underwater, just before a drowning. It felt like a rescue and wasn't that the closest thing to hope?

 

He gets up, feeling his head light, as if the world had just spun out of its axis. His heart beats quickly in his chest. There was the feeling again, clutching at his stomach, one that was similar to excitement, but with a tone of anxiousness. 

 

And then there was the gratitude, and it was the easier feeling to tap. "Thank you." He says, and he means it, he truly does. It almost hurts so. But gratitude doesn't make him stay, because he can barely look at her, if he does, he won't feel like himself anymore. And change... is threatening. He allows himself to bask in the gratitude, the way it warms his chest, even as he tries to leave for his bedroom.

 

Sakura gets up after him. "It's OK!" She says, in a hush, embarrassment in her voice. "I will leave you alone now! You can stay here and finish your breakfast. I need to leave soon anyways."

 

She steps around the table to leave and Sasuke makes the mistake of looking at her. Her expressions is so vulnerable it seems about to break. It makes him forget for a moment his own vulnerability. Sasuke reaches and grabs her forearm, putting her movement to a forceful halt, making her shoulder collide with his side. 

 

They look at each other, stunned. And it feels like the time he had caught hold of her after she helped him escape Kaguya's dimension. 

 

Next, Sasuke thoughts kick in and he releases her, just as quickly, stepping back.

 

There's a long pause. "Why... would you do that?" She asks, eyes wide, and a bit shaken up.

 

He doesn't know. He wasn't thinking. "Sorry." He offers, just for her to let it drop.

 

Sasuke sits quietly again, and proceeds to start eating. He tries to appear collected, under her questioning stare. When Sakura leaves, he allows his expression to show the confusion he's feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I want to thank all the people that are leaving kudos for this story. When I see it in my email it never fails to bring a smile to my face. It really motivates me to write better.
> 
> I'll do some editing to fix grammar and spelling mistakes. English is not my first language and I have to take extra attention not to word things in a funny way, but well, I guess it just escapes my notice sometimes. If anyone caught up any of this, feel free to point out so I can improve.
> 
> I've decided to take this story seriously. Now that I am - finally, finally - about to have some free days I will edit the chapters and work on a plot. An actual plot. Though probably the updates will be as random as ever, just as the chapter's lengths. Still working on having a schedule.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Thank you for reading!


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